Examining the feedback that myself and my colleagues, Tyrique and Ensō have been receiving, I’ve been inspired to address a different issue than first intended for my next post.  I hope that this may clear up the few discrepancies that I have noticed.

The majority of sentiments stated on this blog thus far can be applied to THE GOLDEN RULE.  No, not that “do-on-to-others-as-you-would-have-them-do-to-you” bullshit.  That rule only works if EVERYONE does it.  In reality only some of us do it – sometimes at that.  This is the social Golden Rule, something that everyone that aspires to be an Extraordinary G needs to know.  This rule applies to every type of relationship: business, casual, and romantic. Once it’s use is understood and mastered an improvement in swag is guaranteed.  The real and realistic Golden Rule is “The person who is the least interested in maintaining a relationship holds the power in the relationship.” Sounds simple doesn’t it?  Well, rules always should. Luckily, this rule is as simple as it sounds.  Want an example?  How about business? Let’s say your boss is a jerk (hard to imagine, right?) Well let’s say your boss gives you a huge project out of nowhere and you REALLY don’t want to do it.  As a matter of fact you know your boss doesn’t like you and he has it out for you, and he gave you the project just to be an asshole.  In this case your choices are:

A:QUIT!
B: Call him out on being an asshole.
C: Suck it up, call him an asshole under your breath and do the damn project.
D: (If you have a preferred passive aggressive behavior, insert here)

Most likely you’d be choosing C (or even D if you don’t get caught).  Why? Because in this relationship you are the party with the most invested in sustaining it.  If you pick A, you have no job. If you choose B: also, no job.  This may be inconvenient for you boss if he intends on refilling your position, but you have no source of income.  You need you to have your job a lot more than your boss needs you to have your job. Inversely if you already had a higher paying job lined up, your necessity to maintain that position is lower than your bosses and he is at a bigger inconvenience at the extermination of your employment.  So sure, call him an asshole.

With this concept in mind let’s talk about romance.  This is where the application of the golden rule gets a lot more fun.

In the business world it’s easy to see how it applies.  The lines of necessity and expendability are clearly drawn.  With relationships it’s not so clear.  Actually, with romantic relationships the rule has to be slightly tweaked to apply correctly. It’s more like: “The person who APPEARS TO BE the least interested in maintaining a relationship holds the power in the relationship”.

I’ll elaborate:  Guys meets girl. Guy and girl hit it off. Guys gets girls phone number. Then guy thinks about girl while he waits 3 days to call her.  Now what logical reasoning would be behind these actions?  Guy does not want to seem too desperate or too interested.  (even if he actually is that interested).  Guy knows once he shows interest past a certain point, he poses the risk of losing all power in the situation or even losing the interest of girl. I’m not personally a big fan of the three day wait but it is one of the instances where the golden rule obviously comes into practice.

Now I want to apply this rule directly to the last post Tyrique put up.  He was merely expressing a possible outcome of using the golden rule.  By no means was he saying the classic “being an asshole gets you girls”. It was quite a different statement.

I’ll break it down like this:  the ability to inflict pain is the ultimate sign of power.  (Be it mental, physical, or emotional.  Or be it intentional or unintentional). If you have gotten to a point where someone disapproves of your romantic actions, that means that you have achieved a position of power in the situation.  While there may be a certain level of guilt involved, but you have indeed stepped up your swag.  Therefore, being called an asshole isn’t necessarily a bad thing (as it’s in jest…and you’re not someone’s boss).

I must clarify.  As previously stated, the use of the golden rule must be mastered.  I am not suggesting in any way shape or form to totally ignore a girl if you find her attractive.  Depending on the situation you have to be able to assess the amount of interest to show.  You can show too little interest just as easy as you can show too much.  A girl needs to know that you will call if she gives you her number but she doesn’t need to know that you were practicing your vows in your head the moment you saw her.  There’s a threshold of interest a true G must reach but can not pass.

When actually in a relationship, some of these walls come down with comfort.  Feelings start to be confessed and it becomes harder to sustain the power position as honesty reigns supreme.  After a while in relationships, you can see who needs who more.  However, in bad fights the first party to threaten a breakup is attempting to re-establish the position of power.  The other party calling their bluff leads to either submission or the dreaded “break”.  In either case, balance gets re-established eventually.  The rule applies without fail.  If the situation occurs that both people involved need the other at he same level and neither have the upper hand or desires to have the upper hand.  Well, I guess that’s called being in love. I hope you get to experience it.  Peace.

IDWBP,
- Ray

Examining the feedback that myself an my colleagues, Tyrique and Ensō have been receiving, I’ve been inspired to address a different issue than first intended for my next post.  I hope that this may clear up the few discrepancies that I have noticed.

The majority of sentiments stated on this blog thus far can be applied to THE GOLDEN RULE.  No, not that “do-on-to-others-as-you-would-have-them-do-to-you” bullshit.  That rule only works if EVERYONE does it.  In reality only some of us do it – sometimes at that.  This is the social Golden Rule, something that everyone that aspires to be an Extraordinary G needs to know.  This rule applies to every type of relationship: business, casual, and romantic. Once it’s use is understood and mastered an improvement in swag is garrenteed.  The real and realistic Golden Rule is “The person who is the least intrested in maintaining a relationship holds the power in the relationship.” Sounds simple doesn’t it?  Well, rules always should. Luckly, this rule is as simple as it sounds.  Want an example?  How about business? Let’s say your boss is a jerk (hard to imagine, right?) Well let’s say your boss gives you a huge project out of nowhere and you REALLY don’t want to do it.  As a matter of fact you know your boss doesn’t like you and he has it out for you, and he gave you the project just to be an asshole.  In this case your choices are:

A:QUIT!
B: Call him out on being an asshole.
C: Suck it up, call him an asshole under your breath and do the damn project.
D: (If you have a perfered passive agressive behaviour, insert here)

Most likely you’d be choosing C (or even D if you don’t get caught).  Why? Because in this relationship you are the party with the most invested in sustaining it.  If you pick A, you have no job. If you choose B, also, no job.  This may be inconvieniant for you boss if he intends on refilling your posistion, but you have no source of income.  You need you to have your job a lot more than your boss needs you to have your job. Inversly if you already had a higher paying job lined up, your nessceity to maintain that posistion is lower than your bosses and he is at a bigger inconvenance at the extermination of your employment.  So sure, call him an asshole.

With this concept in mind let’s talk about romance.  This is where the application of the golden rule gets a lot more fun.

In the business world it’s easy to see how it applies.  The lines of necessity and expendability are clearly drawn.  With relationships it’s not so clear.  Actually, with romantic relationships the rule has to be slightly tweaked to apply correctly. It’s more like: ”The person who APPEARS TO BE the least intrested in maintaining a relationship holds the power in the relationship.”.

I’ll elaborate:  Guys mets girl. Guy and girl hit it off. Guys gets girls phone number. Then guy thinks about girl while he waits 3 days to call her.  Now what logical reasoning would be behind these actions?  Guy does not want to seem too desperate or too intrested.  (even if he actually is that intrested).  Guy knows once he shows interest past a certain point, he poses the risk of losing all power in the situation or even losing the intrest of girl. I’m not personally a big fan of the three day wait but it is one of the instances where the golden rule obviously comes into practice.

Now I want to apply this rule directly to the last post Tyrique put up.  He was merely expressing a possible outcome of using the golden rule.  By no means was he saying the classic “being an asshole gets you girls”. It was quite a different statement.

I’ll break it down like this:  the ability to inflict pain is the ultimate sign of power.  (Be it mental, physical, or emotional.  Or be it intentional or unintentional). If you have gotten to a point where someone one dissapproves of your romantic actions, that means that you have achieved a posistion of power in the situation.  While there may be a certain level of guilt involved, but you have indeed stepped up your swag.  Therefore, being called an asshole isn’t nessessarialy a bad thing (as it’s in jest.…and you’re not someones boss).

I must clarify.  As previously stated, the use of the golden rule must be mastered.  I am not suggesting in any way shape or form to totally ignore a girl if you find her attractive.  Depending on the situation you have to be able to asses the amount of intrest to show.  You can show too little intrest just as easy as you can show too much.  A girl needs to know that you will call if she gives you her number but she doesn’t need to know that you were practiceing your vowes in your head the moment you saw her.  There’s a threshold of intrest a true G must reach but can not pass.

When actually in a relationship some of these walls come down with comfort.  Feelings start to be confessed and it becomes harder to sustain the power posistion as honesty reigns supreme.  After a while in relationships, you can see who needs who more.  However, in bad fights the first party to threaten a breakup is attempting to re-establish the posistion of power.  The other party calling their bluff leads to either submission or the dreaded “break”.  In either case, balance gets re-established eventually.  The rule applies without fail.  If the situation occurs that both people involed need the other at he same level and neither have the upper hand or desires to have the upperhand.  Well, I guess that’s called being in love. I hope you get to experience it. Peace.